I took the last week off of everything just about. I ran J to and from his soccer practices, but other than that I took a mini vacation. My wonderful husband has spent the weekend before smoking a LOT of meat on the smoker. That meant I haven't cooked a meal at all last week. I made a side dish or two, or prepared a salad, but I didn't have to think about what was for dinner. No prepping meat, no marinading, no nothing. My husband was home very early almost every day so we were able to spend a lot of time together as well. He had purchased a new Wii game system especially for me, including the Wii Fit game and board.
While he was at work I walked with the girls during soccer practice, then I would exercise on the Wii and then we would play games together as a family. It has been a wonderfully happy and relaxing week. But, all things have a balance. Ours is that we discovered about Thursday of last week that my husband was going to have to work out of town this week. I have a hard time adjusting to him not being here. He is such a help with everything. He comes home and usually entertains baby A for a while so I can take a break. He helps to prepare dinner if he gets home early enough. He leads our family Bible study every evening. He takes time to play with the other kids. And in addition to all of that, he still finds time to make me feel special to him. He really is a wonderful husband and I feel very blessed that God gave him to me. It is going to be an adjustment with him being out of town this week.
Despite how wonderful my own life has been, something dark has been hiding in my life that God brought to my attention. You see, I have developed a habit of thought that is destructive. It is one that many women stuggle with, but knowing that I am not alone does not make it right. My fault? I have been secrectly judging others. I don't talk about it. I don't condemn them out loud. Just little niggling thoughts that pop into my head that I don't push out. Things like "if that were my child I wouldn't let him/her behave that way" or "if she really cared about (fill in the blank) then she would be doing more about it". I assume that I know all of the details about what is going on and instantly decide that he or she isn't doing enough or doing it correctly. Do you know what I am talking about? Have you ever had thoughts like that?
The problem is, it isn't my place to judge the person. It isn't my place to think thoughts that tear the other person down. While I was justifying myself in that I didn't say them outloud, that doesn't change the fact that they were still hurtful thoughts. Those thoughts probably affected my actions and reactions to the person I was thinking about...and not in a positive way. Perhaps if I had reached out an understanding hand to the parent with a child that was misbehaving it might have been the hand that lifted her up. Instead I looked at her with eyes that condemned without saying a word. Maybe the child had been forced to awake from a nap early and that was why the child was behaving that way. Or maybe the parent needed someone to talk to because the stress of parenting is reaching critical and he/she just needs to know that he/she is not alone. Rather than offering a noncritical ear, I instead offered judgement in my eyes.
Life is to difficult trying to do the right thing without others judging us. To many times I have felt judged, outside of what others thought I should be, or how I should act, or what I should be doing. I know how it feels. Why then has it become so easy for me to judge others?
There are lots of possible answers to that. I haven't been studying my Bible like I probably should, or even like I had been. I have seen the progress that I have made in some areas of my life that I have begun to judge others in those areas. (Not looking at the vast number of areas that I am still weak, or lacking in that they may be excelling in.) It could be a sort of pride on my part. It could be many things. While it is important to me to search my heart and discover my own "why", it doesn't change the fact that I need to change the actions. That is why I have chosen this weeks verse. Are you also thinking "reckless words"? Or are you even saying them out loud? Take a moment and examine your own thoughts and actions. Maybe this verse will help you also.
As always, feel free to click above to download a higher resolution image for printingFortunately today two of the children, J and H, begin Summer Academy! That means free breakfast and lunch for all of the children, 4 hours of crafts and education in a fun environment for two of them, and hopefully some time to get my yucky fridge cleaned, perhaps some dry wall work done, and maybe some exercising in. A friend from church has agreed to start walking with me in the mornings. Hopefully with someone else to walk with I can get motivated again and jump on the exercise wagon consistently. J and H are looking forward to Summer Academy. J gets two pottery classes he wanted and H got a beading/jewelry making class that she wanted. Unfortunately with K moving on to high school next year she is now to old to attend Summer Academy. She performed solos the last two years at the conclusion of the program. This year she is stuck hanging out with mom. Almost makes you feel sorry for her doesn't it? Have a great week and don't forget to think about what you think and say. It isn't always easy examining ourselves, and for me it is especially difficult admitting a shortcoming. I only do so because I have learned that if I am struggling with something, more than likely someone else either is also struggling with it, has overcome it and can offer advice, or will probably struggle with it in the future. I hope that by being open and honest about it, it will help you to not feel alone. I hate to feel alone!
Have a great week!
