With their weight loss though, I found myself fighting the green monster,
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then depression because I wasn't getting results as quickly,
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then anger that I was HURTING physically from my exercising (need I say that my muscles are totally rebelling at doing even the basic forms of strength training?).
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I haven't lost weight in about 2 weeks and I found myself praying for God to just give me even a small change in the scale because i was getting so discouraged with it all. Now I don't mean just a little prayer as I step on the scale, I mean some serious prayers ... with tears and everything.
Then, during my Bible study time, He responded to my prayer, Not with what I wanted, but an answer that I needed. In Isaiah 5 the people are doing their own thing. Not so much that it was the wrong thing as much as it was they were doing it without GOD. The chapter begins with an analogy of God preparing and planting a vineyard that He expected to produce fine, sweet grapes only to get sour, wild grapes.
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He compares His people to the wild grapes. They didn't become what He had envisioned and went on to do their own things. Then you get to Isaiah 5:19 where they are mocking God saying "Hurry up and do something! QUICK show (me) what you can do. (I) want to see what you have planned." What a huge awakening for me! I have gotten so wrapped up in what the scale says (which isn't a bad thing in and of itself) that I have left out God! He has given me everything that I need to do this right, but rather than allowing the Son to help me grow into sweet grapes I have focused on how I compare to the other grapes in the field and that is making me sour and bitter. He should be my focus and the center and not how I am doing compared to others.
Chapter 5 continues with several lines of "destruction is certain" for His people who are not focused on Him. I can not do this alone. I have tried MANY times before and failed each and every time. Not only failed but gained MORE weight. I am now trying to refocus on why I started this study, which was about growing closer to the only one who can truly satisfy, and less on the temporary satisfaction of smaller numbers on the scale, because one day those numbers are going to stop getting smaller and then what do I have?
Another hint that I needed to bring God back into this journey was a DVD I found while grocery shopping with the hubby. Now I just want to say that I have looked at this particular rack of exercise DVD's several times over the last week trying to decide whether or not to purchase the DVD version of a VHS program I already own. That would allow me to workout downstairs rather than in the living room only. While going back and forth about it I have browsed every DVD on the rack. On this particular day there was 1 and ony 1 copy of a new DVD I had never seen before.
(You can check it out at http://amzn.to/Ap9Hqn)
So I bought it, and I have to say I LOVE it. That doesn't mean I enjoy the workout, because it does challenge me. What I do love is that throughout the DVD the encouragements are not along the lines of "what a beautiful body you are creating" but rather along the lines of "you are doing a great thing be being a good steward of the body God has entrusted to you". It reminds me the whole time that this body is a gift from God and is His temple and I need to care for it. I am challenged to do my best through the entire workout. It is great for keeping me focused on what is really important.
And that is the challenge I want to leave you with.
If you are going to do it, do it with all of your might!
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Do EVERYTHING for God's glory
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and do it with all your heart!
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So I am still on this journey towards a smaller me, and a more peaceful me, but I learned that my focus needs to be on God. If my focus is in the right place, everything else will fall in line!
You can find out more about Made to Crave and do the FREE 21 day challenge here. You can also join me on SparkPeople for a free weight loss plan. You can find me as Sunflowers4Me.
Until next time,
